Does everyone want to feel like an adult? If you ask me, I'd say never. Never. Forty years have passed, until this age have I ever felt like one? I think never. There have been times when I've only pretended to be. That's the honest answer. Sometimes when I'm meeting with my publisher, I have to act like an adult and make decisions. I recently had to speak to a producer on the phone, and I was in the same situation, and I did what I had to do; I acted like a determined adult. Sometimes when you go to an invitation, you're expected to look that way. I've done these things countless times. But that wasn't what I had in mind. Acting like an adult woman was practically a mask. That's why I decided not to enter environments where I couldn't feel like myself. It's nothing new; it's been a while. I feel more comfortable. Considering that I'm a true indoor cat, it was a good decision.
I wrote in a recent column that people are disappointments. I still agree; that's why I don't contact anyone unless necessary. This is the most relaxing of all. There's no voice that disturbs my peace. When I don't hear the treachery and arrogance in people's voices when I talk on the phone, my mind and soul become a bundle of peace. I'm breathing. Even if they are my age or even younger than me, everyone I know is a giant adult. No one puts aside their arrogance or ambition. No one loves you for who you are; there's always a benefit or something boring. So I don't want the energy in their voices as well.
Believe it or not, I remember not leaving my house for nearly three months. Of course, I went out into the garden and onto the terrace. I'm talking about being away from the crowds. And how good it is for my soul. I spend most of my days reading, writing, praying and watching series and movies on digital platforms. Watching my cats run around the house, waking up in the morning to the smell of Irish coffee made by my dear husband... I'm talking about the spiritual beauty that comes from being away from people, with the person I love. There's truly no place like home. I can almost hear many of you saying, "You're doing great!" Because everyone wants to isolate themselves from something these days.
Let's return to not feeling like an adult. Anyone who thinks and feels like me can ask themselves dozens of questions about this, but the answers don't satisfy. For some, it's a choice, for others, a natural attitude. If you had a wonderful childhood like me, you can still remain the same at forty. You might also feel, as I did, that you don't fit into this relativity that's thought to be real. The world can seem vast and cruel to you. No matter how peaceful your routine, as long as you don't close your eyes and heart to what's happening outside, life outside will always hurt you. Because you are a being with a conscience. You are a real human being. We have responsibilities; in that case, we may have to act like adults. This won't wear us out. At the end of the day, when we return sweet home, we can breathe a clean breath of pure peace. I wish everyone a peaceful life without arrogance and ostentation.